Why I Can't Have Nice Things

Several months ago, I scratched my brand new 46" plasma TV and then last night, I dropped and broke my Sony Ericsson phone. This is why I cannot have nice things. I am incredibly clumsy.

Ah well, new phone on its way.

Jeffery Combs IN PERSON

Performing as Edgar Allan Poe, no less. Amazing. Jana alerted me of this little show happening at the Steve Allen Theater tonight... it's the preview of a new one-man show going up starring Mr. Combs and directed by Stuart Gordon. AND the preview was only $5!

The show was terrific if a little long, but it was great to see Jeffery do his thing. I was sitting front row, so I even got a little Combs spittle on me. Joy!

Return to Art Walk

It's been almost 2 years since Nic and I hit the Art Walk downtown and it was kind of awesome... conflicting schedules, mixed priorities, and the etc. have kept me from returning for almost 2 years, but I went down tonight with Caroline and her roommate, Heather. It was so freaking great!!! I am totally going to try and make this an every month thing now. Plus, I rode my bike down and it was hardly a hassle!

This is a great little hoodie/hat made by a very sweet lady named Monster Kat (I think) - she has her own joint online at www.handmadestoreonabike.com - and she makes this stuff by hand and carts it around on her bike. Naturally.

This was at the Museum of Neon which was charging admission(!) Dumb. But I liked this.

I just like this picture.

This sexy lady was just laying in that bed. Heather suggested that maybe we shoulda given her a hug since the name of the piece was "Hug", but the tape around the bed tells a different story, methinks.

Oh! And here you could make your own piece of art, hang it, and trade it for someone else's! Awesome.

So Tired

Day one of being back to work and I'm already exhausted. Awesome. Granted, I was up until 2 last night working on the puzzle, got up early today, decorated and prepared the room for camp, then came home and wrote for three hours -- "End of the Road", version 3 is done! I think if it's not where it needs to be for Horrorfest, it is very very close.

Then I worked on the puzzle for another two hours.

And now it's almost 1:30.

But I am DONE incubating! I had to bang out "EotR" so's I could hit artwalk tomorrow night with some friends and then a show Friday night with a new friend.... going away party on Saturday, and auditions/filming with Off Chance on Sunday. Ha.

My life is pretty sweet... hopefully it won't kill me.

Incubation

Like this little egg here between the legs of this Macaroni Penguin, the past 6-7 months for me have been a time of periodic incubation. I've been really serious about hiding out, about being kind of selfish with my time and energy. I think the new job, new home, new singledom, DK breaking up, Nose Tales for four months... all of those things were big transitions/happenings all going on at once, and it was how I handled the situation.

Most recently, I've gotton on board with ZJU for our first Horror-Fest going up in August. I was going to direct, but stepped back at the last minute. This caused some consternation between me and ZJ, but we had a long heart to heart tonight as I apologized and we just talked about life and stuff going on.

After the phone call, I got to thinking about my lengthy incubation process, this period I've been kind of stingy with my energy. I do this when I'm stressed out, I pull in like a snail into its shell... but what if I were to explode outwards instead?

I've spent the rest of the night considering this (while working on the jigsaw)... and I feel like maybe I've wasted some time here by not being totally present and holding back. It is time to burst forth! Time to spread my energetic wealth!

Art Bomb

I saw this art bomb today and it's totally how I feel. People are big enough to see, additional yellow signs warning people to not hit them are unnecessary.

Squirrels and other animals, however, seem to be expected collateral as our big-ass Amurrcan Hummers and sports cars roar down city streets. Every time I see roadkill, it infuriates me because I truly believe that it could have been avoided if people just showed a little bit of care and respect for animal life.

Yes, animals do sometimes dart out into traffic, but if the driver is paying attention, he or she should see the animal deciding whether or not darting is a good idea, and thusly, should slow down.

Anyway, this wasn't going to be a soap box moment, I just appreciated the sign.

Pool Party!!

Aw yeah! Today, Miss Jenn Weaver had a pool party to belatedly celebrate her birthday. It was awesome. I rode my bike there, thinking going over the hill from the Valley wouldn't be so bad... and it was awful. I nearly puked. But I made it!!

We were there late, swimming, drinking, talking, putting Carmen's swimsuit in the freezer. It was a good day.

The Third and the Fourth

Last night, I went down to the OC to celebrate my man Mark's big 3-0. It was stupid fun. We played flip cup, had a ping pong tournament, and I spun fire. Hooray.

And tonight, I went over to Echo Park to see long-time friend Jason House, stand on his roof and watch fireworks. Awesome. Good people. Except for that weird girl who was probably an actress or a model, but she would refuse to engage in conversation about what she did. Weird.

Wasted Time...?

Listening to the incredible Jazzanova song, "Wasted Time," and it's got me thinking about that.

The lyrics are:

For the rest of my Life
There will be... No Wasted Time
Too much to do and to much to see
Can't waste my time

Don't know what tomorrow brings, oooh oooh
But I'm not going to miss anything, oooh oooh
(No Wasted Time) Gonna rise in the mornin' with the sun, oooh oooh
And live each day like it's my last one
Can't waste my time (vaa daaa daa da)

And it's got me thinking about wasting time... I love the idea of too much to do and see, but I'm also thinking about how the things that we all want to see and do are different for each of us. We all have different priorities. So what's wasting time to one is not the same for another.

So what does it all come down to? Seizing the day?

I think I take this shit too literally, because I feel like I need to live every single day as it was my last, but that gets to be so tiring sometimes. Ha... but maybe that's the point - to look beyond being worn out and just doing it. No? But then I'm so tired I can't enjoy anything.

And isn't staying at home, writing, painting, reading, listening to music... playing games, isn't that still making good use of your time? My time?

Oh, it's all so heady.

I will say that the past couple days, I've been spending some good time writing again... and I have resumed my Pimsleur Japanese lessons. Maybe I'll eventually just up and move to Japan. I liked that place. I'll have my own little Shinto shrines and everything.... maybe.

Feelin' It

Yeah, just like this guy. I spent the first several hours of today working on a new horror story. Yes! It's actually an idea I've had for a very long time, but I've just now figured out how to tell it.

It's good to be feelin' it again.

Reminder

I was reminded today that being alone can be a good thing as I resumed writing "Bookshop" and came up with 2 other good story ideas. Hollyworms 2 is on its way.

Breakfast Bowl

Aw yeah... look at that! Green peppers, onions and mushrooms all fried up in some olive oil, throw an egg in, a couple strips of bacon and some cheese. Topped off with some Tapatio and BOOM. Look at that.

The rest of the day was all about gussying up my home, taking out the turntables and trying to find a home for them (now I've gotta find a mixer). I bought some new throw pillows, a new oven mitt, moved a bunch of furniture around and yeah... feeling pretty good about the apartment today.

Plus, I put a further dent in "Brave New World," and am thoroughly enjoying that.

Weirdos

Last night, Adam and I went to La Canada to see the Weirdos perform their newest show. Craig (the dude there on the far left) has been doing this for 39 years. He gets friends together, writes a couple shows, and then puts them on in his carport. It's kind of amazing. Truly. Very inspiring in a way. His neighbors and friends come out, and everyone has a great time. Awesome.

Then, after the show, I rode down the hill on this broken office chair half-illuminated by Adam's car. It was loud, yes, but also super fun. Hoorah!

And today, I finished a new draft of my zombie apocalypse one-act "End of the Road." I think it is very close to how it's going to be when it goes up at ZJU in August. It is going to be awesome.

Are You Smart?

Then you should absolutely go directly to MusicForSmartPeople.com and buy your copy of Normandie Wilson & Sebastian Clark's debut effort - "Music For Smart People". It is fantastic. I picked up my copy yesterday and it is bold, creative, phenomenal. They're getting ready to leave to Europe for an undecided amount of time to tour, but before that, they'll be having a release party at McCabe's on July 18th. I've already got my ticket - $10 - now go get yours!!

Please support local and indie artists, pick this up if you can spare the $15... especially if you don't live out here and can't see the show.

In related news, I caught the result of the RIAA case against the Minnesota mother of four who had downloaded 24 songs... $1.9 million. Yeah, that makes sense. That will teach her... and her kids.. and probably her kids' kids. Good work, RIAA, you have proven to the world that yes, you are a group of douchebags. This, surely, won't make people want to illegally download more music from the major labels.

And even though the creators of it have been nabbed and sentenced by a Swedish court headed by a corporate judge who's in bed with the industry, The Pirate Bay is still running strong... check it out.

Groundless

It's been an interesting 6-7 months for me since having moved out. There's been my share of adventure and surprises. There's been a couple projects. School has taken up a lot of my time. I've come back into the fire community, which I am so grateful for. There's been some reunions and some good times and bad times... it's been pretty full.

Yet, I can't help but feel like it's also been kind of empty.

With the passing of MJ a couple days ago, I dunno, it's not just that - it's been a funny week. Some lady almost driving herself into the LA river, a dude maybe dying outside of Fox and Hounds, Farrah and Ed as well as MJ... I guess it's got me thinking about mortality and what it all means... what this all means.

I've been navel gazing a bit and my result has been feeling kind of groundless. I feel pretty disconnected from most of the people in my life. I don't really know who my family is out here right now... everyone is very busy, a lot of couples, a lot of big life stuff going for people and it's great. It really is. But I've found myself sort of in the middle of everything.

Groundless.

In all of my spiritual studies and readings, that term has come up several times, and it's not an altogether bad thing, in fact, it's a real moment of opportunity. It's a place of possibilities. It is a place where anything can happen.... if one is open to it.

There is the flip-side though. A place that can feel kind of lonely and ambiguous. A place that is hard to get your head around.

I don't know what the fuck I am doing with my life. Do I love my job? Yes. Have I been creative lately? Sure... painting, poi/staff practice, journaling on occasion. And I often say that that is all that is important: doing the things that make you happy. But I'm beginning to wonder if there is something greater to strive for.

I mean, say what you will about MJ, but in his prime, he was the King... not just of pop, but of so much more. His music, his vision, his talents have affected so many people in such amazing ways. He was truly an inspiration. And I look at what I'm doing, and I feel that way about my job, but on a much smaller scale. I do feel like I am making a difference, which is important to me.... but is there more?

The hardest part about being groundless to me is the loss of having a "tribe", having a group of people that I know are not just there for me, but are on the same wavelength as I am. People who seek each other out, energetically... I miss that sense of connection sometimes.

I'm going to roller disco tonight, and I know none of the people I've invited will come... but I'll still go because I love it. It refreshes my soul and heart. I've never come home having regretted gone. I just wonder where the members of my Tribe are? Those people who share my excitement for adventure and life... those people who want to go out and play... and I wonder how to find them.

Then I wonder if it's even all that important to even have a Tribe.

I'm also thinking about taking a break from the blog, or at least maybe making it less regular. I wonder sometimes about who's reading this and what can I say that's interesting.. but I wonder if that's just distraction. I've got two more weeks of utter freedom left before I have to go back to work at camp... and I'm wondering what's the best use of that time.