"A Cool-Ass School Teacher"

Today, as the fourth of the five-part Outdoor Adventures program at the Academy, we went to Mountain High, a fairly local ski resort where the kids and teachers spent the day skiing and snowboarding. Snowboarding has been one of those things like surfing, that I've always wanted to do, probably moreso than surfing simply because I grew up in a landlocked state - but like my opportunity to go surfing last year, the Universe said, "Greg, it's time to go snowboarding."

It was awesome. And incredibly painful. I was doing pretty good, actually, making my way down the bunny slopes, catching some good runs, falling over a lot as I tend to do, but I was getting it. Then, after the third run on the bunnies, my friend and coworker, Johnny, suggested he and I and the kids take the next, higher lift up. At first I hesitated, but I looked up the slope and saw that it really didn't go that much further and the slope really wasn't that much steeper, so I said sure and convinced the 7th grader who was with us that it was a good idea, too. "It'll build confidence, make you a better boarder," I may have said.

Anyway, on the lift, as we were passing the spot that I thought it would stop at, I kinda peed my pants a little. It continued up, along a drastically steeper slope than I had expected... and it went and went. I popped off the lift and said to Johnny that I would never listen to another one of his ideas ever again.

After some discussion, we decided to go down a blue (intermediate) trail... I said fine, let's do it, I was comfortable with that. We followed one and it quickly ended... becoming basically a cross-country trail for skiers, not so much for boarders. The immediate options were three different black diamond trails and a double black. For those of you who don't know these are the advanced and super advanced trails.

Anyway, Johnny and his student slowly made their way down their chosen black diamond, one that, I'd like to add, had trees on every side of it, and which was so steep, you couldn't see the mountain from just behind the initial drop... and I stared in horror. The 7th grader seemed game to go down a different black diamond, The Dragon, and I agreed with him - if only because of the lack of trees - but once I got there, looking over the incredibly steep drop, my heart caught in my throat.

God bless that child, because he was ready to take it on, and what was I to do? Be a pussy and wimp out in front of my own student? No way. So I went. And I fell. A lot. And I fell hard; you see, because since this is my first time snowboarding, I still have yet to understand real control... which means that even though I intend on keeping my board perpendicular to the direction I'm going, which is slower and easier to control, I would inevitably, within seconds, turn the board parallel with the trail, which exponentially increases the speed... which in turn, freaked me the F out... which led to a lot of hard bails.

For the most part I did fine, but the black diamond was torture. 20 minutes of bruising, tweaking, and twisting. I did pull off some spectacular bails, though, I gotta say.

Anyway, I took a little break after that ordeal, and then got back up on the bunny slope, knowing the full extent of things I still had to learn. About 10 feet down the bunny, I fell on my ass, my tailbone to be specific, and it hurt so bad, it was clearly bruised from all of the falling. I sat there in the hard pack snow for awhile, contemplating my butt, thinking about how my wrist kind of twisted and my knee got tweaked on the black, considering the several times the back of my head smacked into the snow... I thought about these things, perhaps subconsciously I considered the immortal Jackass folks... and I realized I was done. I knew that permanent/serious injury was not far off and the slopes would be there for another day.

Feeling like a weenie, I took off my board and walked the rest of the way down the bunny slopes... *sigh* but I had to, I felt it.

And boy, do I feel it now. My body is a map of pain.

Anyway, walking to the car to get money for food, I ran into this dude named Andy. This is his second season of snowboarding and he loves it. It's a way of life for him. And he wants to build a snowboarder resort somewhere - maybe in Colorado. He was young, only 21 and going through college, so he was planning, and I think it could work. He asked me about my boarding past and I had to admit it was my first time, that I was there with students, and that was when Andy the Snowboarder said to me, "You are a cool-ass school teacher, getting out there on the slopes with the kids."

That felt pretty good, makes all the bruises better somehow.

And I will return, Mountain High!! I will conquer The Dragon someday. Who's down?